Without My Daddy

Robyne and I skipped the majority of our senior year, and my grade point average proved it. I was totally disengaged from school and only wanted to hang out and have a good time. As soon as we got off of the bus, we parked our backsides on another that would take us to the Metro rail stop that sat across the street from Winn-Dixie. There, we would get as many lunchables our money could afford, usually 2-3, and those would be our meals for the day. I would always get the turkey and cheese one. We’d spend the remainder of our day at the park. Robyne and I would talk for hours…….about our boyfriends, home life and our future. Robyne was a talker, a very descriptive one at that. She would give you every detail and act it out at the same time. So it usually took her a while to get through a story. Her sentences would only be interrupted by her infectious laugh. It was loud but jovial, sort of like mine. She was my best friend. She understood me like no other and the times we spent together took me away from the reality I knew all so well. Oh how I miss my friend…..

I’d only applied to Bethune-Cookman College (BCC) and Florida State University (FSU). Because my grade point average was so awful (1.8), I was accepted to the former contingent I went to Tallahassee the summer before and and took remedial courses. Pridefully, I declined and accepted BCC’s offer. I don’t know, I guess I felt insulted….like I was too smart to take remedial courses. But I was..and had I gave a damn during my last year at Braddock, I wouldn’t have been in that position.

Graduation day was drawing near and with much pride, I handed Babalu a graduation invitation. He quickly glanced it and asked if I had gotten one for his girlfriend at the time. In my head, I was like…”Hell NO”, but I respectfully replied, “No, I didn’t.” He went on to tell me that unless I had an invitation for her, he wasn’t going to be in attendance. I was in disbelief. Here I had been in a relationship with this man and supported him all of my life and heard him say some awful things ………but this was the worst. How could he not want to be there? Wasn’t he proud of me? Didn’t he love me? Didn’t I mean more to him than she did? I was confused. How could he allow another woman to come between us?

Even though Babalu said what he said, part of me believed he would be there. And there I was, at Florida International University, getting ready to graduate. The four years of getting up at the crack of dawn were finally over and I was about to embark on life’s newest journey for me. As I scanned the room, I spotted my sister Sherrae and her husband, Kevin, but no Babalu. Maybe he was running late. I’d just wait and see. With the graduation ceremony in the background, I continuously searched the room for him. It was finally my turn to go on stage. With a smile on my face and sadness in my heart, I walk up to principal Berttani, extend my right hand, shook his, grabbed my diploma and walked off the stage. With the lights of camera flashes in my eyes, I looked out into the audience to see if he had finally made it. Better late, than never, right? But still, no Babalu. And there I was on one of the most important days of my life without my daddy…